Little Talks

"The great secret of succeeding in conversation is to admire little, to hear much; always to distrust our own reason, and sometimes that of our friends; never to pretend to wit, but to make that of others appear as much as possibly we can; to hearken to what is said and to answer to the purpose."

   –Benjamin Franklin

Good conversation—which truly is an art—sharpens the mind and sustains the heart. A skill that I pride myself on is being able to talk to people. I feel that where I am lacking in physical strength, I make up for in my words. Over the years, I have honed this ability to converse into a favorite activity of mine. Since I was a small child I have felt comfortable speaking to almost anyone, age is no factor.

Many times in my life I have been more at ease speaking to individuals years older than me rather than my own peers. Despite my "Gift for gab", I am not immune to awkward silences and saying the wrong thing, I am only human. There have been a few occasions where I have actually been perceived as quiet or even shy. I have realized that  when I am trying to be someone I am not my conversation tends to suffer and "Trying to be cool" is a complete waste of time. 

Do you really want friends that you have to drastically change your personality for? When we attempt to control others perceptions of us, we are only limiting ourselves to want we think they want to hear. Being yourself goes along way.

Many of the people that read this blog have experienced a classic Mike Mort random conversation. Most of the time I find myself discussing television and movies but I can hold my own with politics, philosophy, science, art and music. To me there is something magical about that moment you discover common ground with another person. I may sound a little sentimental but I truly enjoy finding these connections. 

I also find it important to be able to be around people with different, conflicting views to your own. If someone is being genuinely hurtful you do not need to subject yourself to the negativity but try a keep a cool head. There is a lot of strength in expressing your opinion in a calm and intelligent manner. You might learn a ton by simply asking why someone feels the way they do. 

Some many of the problems in this country and around the globe could be solved through conversation and in turn understanding. Life continues to be interesting as long as you are learning new things. Expand your horizons vicariously through others words as often as you can.

I may not have a sweet beard but I can be interesting.

The most honest and helpful piece of advice for engaging excellent conversations is to just listen. 

A wise man and extremely faithful blog reader once said to me:

"We have two ears and one mouth and In conversation we should listen twice as much as we speak."

A great conversion is much more than humans simply communicating, it is people sharing the essence of who they are. 

I am so thankful for all of amazing talks I have had recently and in years past—they give my life meaning. What makes these discussions undoubtedly special is the people that I have them with, they are what I am most grateful for. 

Hello Darkness My Old Friend

Throughout my life I've been tormented by my own mind, being a chronic over-thinker. I've often been told that I am positive person, that I have a good outlook on life but the truth is I can be my own worst enemy, I am only human after all. I am used to late nights of lying awake, just thinking. Occasionally the levee of hope in my mind, which keeps me together, breaks and darkness floods into my head like an unstoppable torrent, the world then starts to look pretty bleak and hopeless. 

Pretty much like this

Sometimes I wish I could just be sure of myself, not filled with so much doubt about everything. I wish I could be the person so many people think I am, the truth is I am just not him. There is so much more to me, besides what can be seen and what I let be seen. What most people know about me is just tip of the iceberg and my mind is infinite. 

I do not want to just be some legacy to idolize, I want to be a real and active person in people's life right now, the good, the bad and everything in between. Every so often I can be pretty terrible, to my family mostly, I am usually just upset about something in my life but, on occasion, it's for no particular reason at all. The worst part of me being vicious like that is how much I can enjoy it, now and again I just want to tell the whole world to F*** off. Being the bad guy can feel good at times. 

My brain is a battleground of dark radical thoughts and raging emotions. Conflict, contradiction and doubt rack my mind constantly. Guilt, regret and fear are some of my biggest foes. "What if" is like a cancer of my mind, the concept of what could have been can be all consuming if one is not careful. 

My head, all to often, lets me long for what I cannot have; the kiss, the car, the scar, the freedom, this ridiculous notion of a "normal" life. Sometimes I feel like I'm drowning, as if things just keep getting worse and I just can't fight the tide. There are times I feel so alone, like everyone's lives are moving forward and I'm stuck, bored and left behind in this cage of a body with only my thoughts remaining. My mind frees me and traps me at the same time, its heaven and its hell. It gives me strength and shows my weakness, it gives me the whole universe but also confines me to the 8 inches between my ears. 

I have to keep fighting that familiar darkness though, I have to make this life work, make it count. If you're losing the spark of hope, if your world is crumbling, if you're losing faith in people, if you're hurting, if all seems lost, if you can't find your way, if you're in despair it's all right. No matter the size of your troubles, weather they are big or they are small, they are real and you are not alone, you never are. 
Keep going...

KEEP GOING.