Unwanted Attention

Being different can often be an exercise in self-acceptance, a battle of confidence versus perception. Loving yourself in a world that views you as inherently other often takes a great deal of strength. The ability to go out in public without feeling like a spectacle is a luxury some people take for granted. For many visibly disabled people, one of the biggest lost freedoms is being anonymous, going unnoticed. Many times, blending in is simply not an option.

Throughout my own experience of being disabled in a visually obvious way, I have had my fair share of uncomfortable situations. Just leaving the house can be quite a test of patience from time to time. I believe our culture has certainly become more understanding and accepting but there is still a long way to go. When my brother and I go out in the community it is always a bit of a gamble when it comes to unwanted attention. Odd comments and awkward gazes have a way of following us wherever we go.

Personally, I am fully aware of the reality that my appearance is a little different from most and I do generally give people the benefit of the doubt. I try to be as tolerant as possible, however, this constant feeling of otherness does have an effect on self-esteem. I find that just being stared at can fill me with a bit of uneasiness, it’s something I have to consciously ignore. It is important to note though, that the majority of odd looks we receive often times come from small children which I am quite understanding of. The truly troubling instances come from full grown adults blatantly starting at us, as if we were gorillas at a zoo. 

Most of the adult gawkers tend to stay behind the proverbial glass but, once in a while, some people are bold enough to make a comment or ask a question. Again, I usually attempt to be as polite and accepting as possible, after all, genuine curiosity is only natural. What is difficult about these encounters is the way people choose to go about approaching us. Very rarely will strangers address my brother and I directly, typically they will only speak to the nearest abled person with us, as if we were not even there. Each time this happens I am left feeling a bit self-conscious, frustrated.

These acts of ignorance, while many times well-meaning, can be isolating and upsetting when you just want to live your life. To me, these feeling are more limiting than anything my body could cause and they make that said body much harder to love. As a person who likes to look at the bigger picture, I believe the root cause of how disabled people are treated truly comes from a lack of knowledge. I am a strong advocate of better disabled representation precisely for this reason. I hope for a future where the full, brilliant diversity of humanity is recognized and embraced, where all people can move freely without feeling different.